Positive Mindset: 11/27/12 – Tuesday – Today I went to the orthopedic doctor I’ve seen numerous times for knee injections. He is the surgeon’s partner and actually I like him a lot. He ended up giving me a cortisone shot which will help with the stiffness and pain. I was in a better state of mind for the rest of the day. I went to a meeting and felt so much better.
11/28/12 – Wednesday – This is the first day of my physical therapy. I am in a good state of mind because I will hopefully get the OK to do some more exercises. He says I am more flexible than the average person, which is a good thing. But, of course, he cannot give me any time-frame for my nerve root to heal. Until that heals, all the therapy in the universe will not bring my dead leg back to total function. It is a slow process, as I’ve been told over and over. But, on a good note, he said in about 6 months or so he thinks I should be back to normal. Six months is a long time, but as long as I continue to see progress, it is OK with me. He said to walk slowly so the nerve pathways can learn again—if I walk too fast (which is really not even an option at this point) my nerve becomes “confused” so keep it slow! I went to Target to walk around with the shopping cart (buggy down here) but for some reason, my legs felt like someone had injected an anesthetic agent into them and I was walking on dead tingly legs; very discouraging. I decided to go home and work on the computer. It is an effort each day to stay in a positive state of mind but I am going to try. I cannot guarantee that I will be successful. I’m scared that I will never be able to return to the life I knew; I am scared that I will be permanently disabled. You can’t play the “what if” game. My biggest problem is between my ears. Life constantly changes but that is the nature of life. I don’t know what the future will hold so I have to just take “one day at a time”.