As time goes by I am forgetting to be grateful. I have been in a state of flux and depression lately because I am putting too much emphasis on getting accolades. I wrote Being Your Own Cheerleader, but I have been having a hard time following my own advice. I think every human being needs some sort of recognition for what they do, even for seemingly small things. It is amazing how one kind or positive remark from someone can do wonders to carry me for a few days. But it just seems that when I write and write, and have no comments, I begin to doubt myself and all those negative tapes start playing in my head, that I am not good enough, and what’s the point, etc. Then my friend Jane, who has been in and out of the hospital since November, with complications of MS, calls and the amount of gratitude I feel comes flooding back. That is when I remember that back in March 2013, I was literally given another chance at life. Immediately after that surgery I was actually happy, because I didn’t take for granted simple things such as walking across the room without a cane. Now, over thirteen months later, I sometimes forget how horrific my life was and how amazing my life is now. I could compare myself to other people who have more money, a relationship, more friends, and feel insecure and small. But, when I compare myself to my friend who struggles with simple tasks such as just walking, cleaning, loss of autonomy, having to depend on people to drive her to appointments, I am filled with gratitude. When I think along those lines, and don’t let myself drift back into negativity, my day and life goes better.

2 thoughts on “Forgetting”

  1. I have not forgotten you, Marilyn. I read some of your new posts earlier this week but failed to take the time to comment on them. I was in a hurry.

    I’m sure your friend Jane makes you remember and appreciate many things you take for granted, and yet it must be painful to know of her problems. I need to stay in better touch with a friend who was diagnosed with MS, and yet I keep putting it off. She was so vibrant and happy and energetic and positive when I first knew her, and I hate what she has been going through. 🙁

    1. It is very heart-breaking to hear that it is just one thing after another. She is currently back in the hospital for a possible heart condition. It’s hard to know what to say when I call except to just let her talk. Thank you for reading and commenting!

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