Fascism: Trump and Hillary

During the 2016 Presidential campaign, I knew the election of Donald Trump would be bad for this country, but I never really understood the long-term consequences.

During the 2016 Presidential campaign, I knew the election of Donald Trump would be bad for this country, but I never really understood the long-term consequences.

During the last 10 days of the election, Jim Comey decided in his infinite wisdom to call a press conference about, what else, Hillary Clinton’s infamous emails. He had already held a conference after reviewing the emails, stating that although it wasn’t the best decision, there would be no charges. When I compare the atrocities that Mr. Trump has inflicted on this country now, to Hillary using her personal email server for sensitive information, that was small potatoes–there is no real comparison. But on that fateful day, Mr. Comey, the grandstander that he was, jumped the gun and declared that he had found additional emails on her assistant’s laptop. I can remember how angry and betrayed I felt at the time and almost wrote her off–I actually considered not voting for her. But shortly afterwards, upon further investigation, he realized that those old emails that had already been discovered and were not new ones. He held yet another press conference to take back his false findings. Except guess what—the damage had already been done and almost nobody heard the retraction. All Trump supporters heard was that Hillary was crooked, as Trump referred to her. He always had and still has to create names for people and the Crooked Hillary moniker stuck.

Hillary was actually on target to win the election. The original Comey findings were far enough away and were fading from people’s memories especially since no charges were filed. He in essence gave a her a dressing down, but her campaign was gaining traction again. Then Comey put the final nail in the coffin and since most people never heard the retraction, they disregarded it and it made no difference.

I will never forgive Comey for single-handedly putting Trump in office. I realize that was not his intention at the time, and he was no fan of Trump, but his need for the limelight destroyed Hillary’s chances. That stupid and not thought-out decision to hold a press conference 10 days before Election Day was so consequential. If Trump had not won, democracy in his country would not be in the precarious state it is in now. If Hillary had won, Trump would not have been able to put three ultra-right wing conservative judges on the Supreme Court. These right-wing Justices have forever altered the landscape of this country by taking away rights that we thought were rock solid. By overturning Roe vs. Wade and the right to abortions, a constitutional right given to women almost 50 years ago, they opened up the flood gates for the removal of other rights we thought we had. What’s next—mark my words they will be gunning for removal of gay marriage, LGBTQ rights, and other’s. What about interracial marriage—I don’t think so because Clarence Thomas is married to a white woman. If overturning Roe was not bad enough, the intentional cruelty of not allowing any exceptions, is a low that I never thought SCOTUS would go to. What about rape, incest, life of the mother in danger—that is just off the table. With their ruling, it was all or nothing. The sad reality of this is if a 13 year old girl gets raped by a relative, she will be forced to carry that baby to term. She will have to either drop out of school, or go with a big belly and be subject to shame and ridicule. Her whole life will be forever ruined. This ruling is so damaging and dangerous to woman because abortions will not stop—they will just become more dangerous. We will now be returning to the days of DIY abortions with coat hangers, and strange concoctions taken to abort, or back-alley unsafe abortions which often result in sepsis.

This is just the beginning. This country has never been the same since Trump took office. Now there is book banning, and not being able to say the word “Gay” in schools. What’s next, book burning? Is this the United States or Nazi Germany? More and more rights are being rescinded by many states. I fear if the Democrats lose the House and Senate, we will lose our democracy. We are headed down the road to Fascism if we all don’t wake up and vote Democratic. But I fear we are too late and the pendulum is already swinging to the right and we may be at the point of no-return.

Disabled

Being disabled; that is something that most of us who are lucky enough (and it is luck) to be able-bodied, don’t even consider. I was one of those smug, athletic people who, although having compassion, had absolutely no comprehension of the trials and indignities of the disabled. My symptoms actually came on very gradually, losing balance, dropped foot (although I didn’t recognize it), and constant pain in my entire body. When I look back at this I failed to put these symptoms together and just treated each one as it came. It started out with my knee surgery, which I never seemed to recover from, and it progressed to numbness of my toes, and bad lumbar pain. I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis, had surgery which I expected to solve the pain problem, but as time went on, my life became a nightmare when I actually became worse and only 2 weeks after the surgery, had to use a cane. The worst part was that I began to realize that I had extreme limitations not in just walking, but just in everyday life; things I always took for granted. Driving (if that’s what you’d call it) became a challenge because my right leg was so weak (partial paralysis) that it was an effort to move my foot from the gas to the brake pedal. So then I would compensate and press on the gas pedal extra hard, which would actually deactivate the brake, causing the car to lurch forward and then I’d have to slam on the brake. I had so many close calls–and can only thank God that I didn’t slam into people or cars, killing someone or myself. I would have severe anxiety, even saying a prayer in the car, each time I had to drive. I’d start stopping the car way early so I didn’t run into the car in front of me. I’d drive over to Walmart and when my parking space was too far, I would ask myself, “Do you really need that cheese?” and I would just drive away. When I did go into the store, I’d walk around with a shopping cart (even when I had only one item) because it provided some stability like a walker–which is really what I needed but my pride would not let me use it. In Starbucks, I would just abandon the idea of getting to a specific seat if it meant maneuvering past people. When standing talking to people, I would notice they would have their arms out, always ready to catch me, because my balance was so bad. But the main thing I noticed about being disabled was the shame, humiliation, anger and helplessness I felt in public. I was angry because my body would not do what I wanted it to. Once when my nerve pain was through the roof, I went to the Y, only to discover that the Adapted Aquatics (disabled) pool was closed. I then decided to try using the hot tub, but once I managed to get in, I literally could not lift myself out. The entire time I was in the tub, I wondered how I would achieve that feat, so I could not even enjoy it. I finally managed to grab onto the railing and crawl out, all the while feeling totally embarrassed. When I tried to use the regular pool, I could not climb in and out of the small steps; very humiliating. It is so hard when your body just does not do what your brain says. These were constant indignities that the average person does not experience. But, one thing I noticed was the feeling of being invisible–people don’t want to look at you when you are disabled. Even the doctors abandoned me because I had symptoms that they couldn’t pinpoint. You get looked upon as if your brain is disabled, not just your body. I was lucky enough to finally escape that nightmare and will be forever grateful. But what about people who have a chronic, progressive disease such as MS, where there is no cure, only management. My friend suffers from MS and she has to rely on others to do basic things for her, such as laundry, shopping, driving to doctor’s appointments, etc. She cannot go anywhere unless it is prearranged and often times her “ride” does not show up or is late, necessitating her to postpone or cancel her appointment. She must rely totally on others and her autonomy is non-existent. It is a constant battle with the medical profession, grocery stores, caregivers, family members, and she does not have control of basic everyday things that most of us take for granted. Even her immediate family has abandoned her because in their eyes, she takes too much pain medication, although they have no idea that pain is one of the side-effects of MS. When you are disabled, life is different and one cannot understand it unless you’ve have had a glimpse into that world. I cannot say that I was lucky to have had the experience I did, but it showed me how the world views the disabled. It is amazing how many people don’t understand what it is like as a disabled person, and think that it couldn’t possibly happen to them. But I am here to say that it CAN and it DOES happen, when your life is going well, and you think that you are golden, and nothing can touch you. But just like anything, you cannot truly put yourself into another’s place without experiencing their pain. What it comes down to is that anybody who is “different” becomes invisible, be it not being able to walk, having a deformity, or being a little person. It is human nature to first want to stare, then look away (and pretend that they can’t see it) at the same time; just like a fatal car accident on the expressway, where you just cannot stop staring because you keep thinking, “Thank God that is not me.” But it can be!