Tag Archives: forgotten when you die

Legacy

Leaving some sort of legacy when we die; I think most of us want this. Back in the early 70’s (or even as far back as ’69), I started writing journals. These were a way to express my inner thoughts and fears and provided me with a creative and emotional outlet. Years ago I abandoned my written journals in favor of writing on the computer, documenting my journey through life, both good and bad. My journal entries about my dysfunctional affair (which started out in a notebook) subsequently became the basis for my book, Crazy in Lust. In 2003 I created my famous “layoff log” to cope with the devastating effects of the 9/11 tragedy and my subsequent layoff from my job after 23 years of employment. But I think there is more to my journaling than providing an emotional outlet for me because I think I am basically looking for validation and some sort of immortality. I somehow want to be remembered by my heirs. I don’t want to just die and be forgotten, which happens most of the time. I want people to know that I was a real, live person with creativity, and passion. My paintings are at least something tangible, but I have been wondering what will happen to my journal. So, I installed an external hard drive to make sure that it is saved. Now that I have a Blog, I started wondering what will happen to all these writings and photos when I pass on. The thing is, I cannot know when my time on planet Earth will be up, nor can I rely on my relatives or friends to keep paying for the Blog hosting forever. Upon inquiry, I found out that my Blog dies with me, which is very upsetting. The beautiful thing about being a famous author, or actor is that your work endures, even after you are gone. But if you’re a regular person what do you do? I am embarking on a way to preserve this Blog so that my great, great, grandchildren will know me, if they so chose. When I look back on my parents’ lives or my grandparents’ lives, I realize I know almost nothing about them personally. We are all forgotten to some extent when we go to the hereafter, but I just want to be remembered a little. I want to leave a legacy, even if only one person cares to find out about me. I can live with dying, but dying and not leaving something of my personality and my life is unbearable and terribly frightening.