Every so often, I find myself getting impatient with someone ambling across the street with a cane. It’s so easy to forget that less than a year and a half ago, that was me. Sometimes when I quickly get up from a seat, and stride very briskly to the other side of the room for something, I find it amazing. Unlike most people who are not impaired, I am acutely aware of how well I simply “walk” and never take it for granted. I know that just plain “walking” without losing balance, fear of falling, or having to hang onto the walls is a gift. Sometimes I become aware that my feet, belly, legs, and back are no longer numb and tingling. I look at my right leg, which was withered as if I had polio, and see a nice, plump muscular leg again. I know that not having my crutch parked beside my bed for help in the middle of the night, is something I never thought I would experience again. Just like anything, it is human nature to not appreciate what you have until you lose it. Things that I thought I would never do again, such as running (a run/walk now) I am doing. I was a prisoner to my disability, never being able to just pick up and go, and I will be forever grateful for that miracle bestowed upon me. OK, if I had not persevered and kept insisting that something was wrong with me, and not just accepted a life of an invalid, I would not have had that “miracle.” So, it all went together and my tenacity was in itself, divine intervention, I believe. When I remember to practice gratitude and appreciation for how I was literally given my life back from the brink, I have a better day. When I focus on the same old petty, annoying, neurotic insecurities (which I will probably never totally lose) I am lost. I know that I have been given a daily reprieve and there are no guarantees in life, but for now, my life is infinitely better than it was, and I cannot forget that.
I don’t believe in coincidences and I do not believe that you meet people by accident. Pastor Joel Osteen always says that when you are ready the right person will come into your life. My day started out annoying, with me trying to convince a medical office staff that I did not owe a co-payment for a surgical follow-up. I was so irritated that when the nurse took my BP, it was abnormally high (I normally have low BP). Then I wasted more energy on calling the insurance company and trying to explain the concept of a Global Surgical allowance to the customer rep. I finally just gave in and told the rep to just forget it, because I figured I wasted enough of my precious time that I would not ever get back. I finally left for my new addiction, Starbucks. I just bought a new laptop, and could not figure out how to connect to the Internet. But, luckily there was a lady who had just come in and sat down next to me. I figured I’d just ask her if she knew how to do it. She figured it out right away, and from there we started talking about everything, including my Blog. I gave her the Blog address, and even logged on to show her the site. She said she would check it out and asked me to write it down, including my phone number. I think 3 things were accomplished: 1 – I got off the Pity Pot that I had been on for a few days, 2 – I met a potential friend, 3 – I promoted my Blog. From all my readings, I know that you don’t achieve a goal overnight; rather, it is through a series of small, incremental steps, done over and over, consistently, that will make it happen. I’ve written about this before, but many times I have been ready to just give up and stop writing this Blog because I am not getting the feedback I want. But, I know that I must not let the “evidence” I see in front of my eyes deter me, because it is deceptive. It comes down to patience, perseverance, and belief in yourself and your abilities. Was it a coincidence that I met this lady, just when I was feeling low? I do not think so.