Invisible

For the past ten years or so, I find I have something in common with a vampire–I am becoming invisible. As an adult, I never lacked for male attention and always had someone in my life. But, as the years have rolled on, I find I am not noticed anymore. I find myself not wanting to reveal my age, as if it is a source of shame. Or I become the victim of unintentioned age discrimination, at the doctor’s office, job, or anywhere where you fill out an application with your birthdate. A few years ago, I went to the occupational therapist ‘s office to be fitted for an arm wrap for lymphedema. The therapist, seeing my date of birth, automatically assumed I was a dottering old fool, and had a particular sleeve picked out for me. But when she saw me, she was shocked and had to revise the prescription. I have been guilty of this too, when reviewing the Intake form for new massage clients, I’ve make assumptions based their date of birth. Additionally, TV is filled with nubile young things, competing on reality shows, or sitcoms with sexual innuendos, which doesn’t help. Social media virtually ignores an older woman, unless she is a celebrity. In many cultures, older people are valued and held in high regard, but not this culture. I, for one, have kept myself in decent shape by exercising, eating right, not smoking, getting cosmetic tweaks here and here, yet I still feel nobody even looks twice at me. I thought that I was the only one, but apparently not–I recently heard a woman say that very thing on TV. Also, I just had a long discussion with a friend at the gym about how she feels devalued and invisible the older she gets. I go to a spinning class with a woman who is 63, and she is more vibrant, in-shape, and athletic than most much younger woman. The same holds true for me–I am in much better shape and athletic than many younger girls, yet, why am I becoming invisible? I wish I knew a way to think of myself as beautiful, regardless of my age. But, I live in this youth oriented society and perhaps unconsciously, perpetrate that attitude too. Until then, I’m afraid that one of these days I will get up in the morning, and just like a vampire, not be able to see my reflection.